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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?